You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
