grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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