Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
