Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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