we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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