Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
