32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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