dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize