So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
