oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
