Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
