We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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