i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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