I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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