You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
