You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
