Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
