Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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