I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
