The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
