batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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