she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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