The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
