it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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