the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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