how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize