I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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