By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
