dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
