Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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