Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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