Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Do vagina's smell?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
