he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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