I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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