I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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