question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
