Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize