Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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