Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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