I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
