Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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