I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
