I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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