Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
