I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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