he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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