She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
