He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
