I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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