Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
