have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would fuck him just for his dog
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
