my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize