It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
