Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
