Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
