If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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