going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
