i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
