An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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