need another drink. this is the easiest way
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
